Why Do Couples Drift Apart (And How Can You Stop It?)

If you are feeling like this in your relationship, here’s what you can do to help.

Some relationships end with fireworks and couples continually argue until one day, it all blows up and they just can’t stand to be around each other anymore. Sometimes, relationships break down because of a single thing, like cheating. But the majority of breakups are not that explosive and they happen slowly over time. Instead of shouting at each other, you slowly drift apart until one day, you realize that you hardly even talk anymore. These kinds of relationships tend to drag on, with neither person being happy but neither of them wanting to end it because they can’t find any solid reasons why they don’t want to be in the relationship. In some cases, it’s just not a good match and it’s best for everybody if you go your separate ways. However, a lot of people are well suited to each other and if they can find their way back to each other and remember what they loved about each other to begin with, the relationship can be restored. The key to doing that or avoiding the issue in the first place is understanding the reasons for it. So, why do couples start to drift apart?

Routine Sets In

When you have been with somebody for a long time, it’s easy to get stuck in a bit of a rut. The routine sets in and you find yourselves doing the same things and having the same conversations over and over. You both start to get bored and feel as though there is nothing new and exciting about the relationship anymore. But you have to remember that life is filled with opportunities for new experiences and seeking out those experiences together is one of the best ways to break that routine. That doesn’t mean that you have to go skydiving together to save your relationship, it could be something as simple as going to a restaurant that you’ve never been to before or having a weekend break somewhere new. 

They Don’t Date 

Dating is a great way to get to know a new person and decide whether you want to pursue a relationship with them. But it’s not just about that, it’s about finding time to spend together and enjoy one another’s company, even if you have been together for years. Unfortunately, a lot of couples don’t prioritise dating and they just end up stuck in their routine. All of the time they spend together becomes mundane and they never actually enjoy being together. It’s easy to make excuses to not date, like the weather’s bad so let’s just stay in, for example. But there is always something you can do if you are willing to put the effort in. This great article from Couple Travel The World has some brilliant rainy date ideas so you can never use that excuse again. Regular dates are one of the best ways to maintain your connection and ensure that you never drift apart. 

They Avoid Difficult Conversations 

Most problems in a relationship can be fixed if they are tackled head on. It’s only when you leave them that they get worse and can eventually end the relationship. If one person in the relationship is feeling under appreciated, for example, but they don’t want to face the difficult conversation and tell their partner, they are likely to retreat into themselves instead. Over time, this causes the couple to grow apart and it’s tough to come back. But if they had just spoken about it as soon as they started feeling that way, it could have easily been solved. If you are really struggling with those tough conversations, consider couples counselling as a way to get things moving. 

If you have started to drift apart, you can still save your relationship, but you need to avoid these common behaviours, which drive a wedge between couples. 

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